I am going to take a post to describe what is in my opinion, the biggest cultural difference I've noticed between Russia and the US. In Russia, people tend to govorit pravda (speak the truth)...all the time.
EXHIBIT A
(with my old host family)
Dasha: Why did you cut your hair?
Me: I don't know, I just wanted a change.
Dasha: You are more beautiful with long hair.
Mama: I agree.
EXHIBIT B- in school, 7 year old Oleg has just recited a lengthy poem by heart, but mixed up a few words, and spoke rather quietly
Teacher: Class, how do you think Oleg recited?
Student: Very badly.
Teacher: Why do you think so?
Student: He said the words wrong.
Teacher: Why else?
Another Student: He recited quietly, and without emotion.
Teacher: Yes, absolutely correct. Oleg, becuase you did so badly, I am going to give you a 2 (the worst grade you can get in Russia, keep in mind this is in front of the whole class)
So, rather defeated, Oleg returns to his desk and the teacher calls on Nastya to recite the poem, she does.
Teacher: How did Nastya recite?
Student: Very well!
Teacher: Why?
Student: She knew all the words, and recited beautifully.**
Teacher: Correct. Nastya, I am going to give you a five 5, you're a good girl.***
At first I was really taken aback by such bluntness, but the more I get used to it, the more I think it is a good thing. Look:
Person A: Hi, How are you?
Person B: good, you?
Person A: Good.
How many times a day do you have that conversation? Tomorrow, if you want, count. Then think how stupid it is.
Why do we say everything is fine when it isnt?
Why do we say we like things when we dont?
Why do we say something was good when really it just wasn't?
I think its because we are afraid of offending people, but really, a difference in opinion or taste should not offend.
I am more of a compare contrast person than a we do it better here/they do it better there person, but this is one of the few times that I'll say it: I think the Russians are doing this right, and we are not.
EXHIBIT A
(with my old host family)
Dasha: Why did you cut your hair?
Me: I don't know, I just wanted a change.
Dasha: You are more beautiful with long hair.
Mama: I agree.
EXHIBIT B- in school, 7 year old Oleg has just recited a lengthy poem by heart, but mixed up a few words, and spoke rather quietly
Teacher: Class, how do you think Oleg recited?
Student: Very badly.
Teacher: Why do you think so?
Student: He said the words wrong.
Teacher: Why else?
Another Student: He recited quietly, and without emotion.
Teacher: Yes, absolutely correct. Oleg, becuase you did so badly, I am going to give you a 2 (the worst grade you can get in Russia, keep in mind this is in front of the whole class)
So, rather defeated, Oleg returns to his desk and the teacher calls on Nastya to recite the poem, she does.
Teacher: How did Nastya recite?
Student: Very well!
Teacher: Why?
Student: She knew all the words, and recited beautifully.**
Teacher: Correct. Nastya, I am going to give you a five 5, you're a good girl.***
At first I was really taken aback by such bluntness, but the more I get used to it, the more I think it is a good thing. Look:
Person A: Hi, How are you?
Person B: good, you?
Person A: Good.
How many times a day do you have that conversation? Tomorrow, if you want, count. Then think how stupid it is.
Why do we say everything is fine when it isnt?
Why do we say we like things when we dont?
Why do we say something was good when really it just wasn't?
I think its because we are afraid of offending people, but really, a difference in opinion or taste should not offend.
I am more of a compare contrast person than a we do it better here/they do it better there person, but this is one of the few times that I'll say it: I think the Russians are doing this right, and we are not.
*Just a little footnote, washing the floor means on your hands and knees with a cloth.
**In the Russian language its not weird for someone to 'recite beautifully' its also not weird for something to 'smell tasty'.
***Again, in Russian this doesn't really sound abnormal.
You really do get Russians :) Love this. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is wonderful! I live on the east coast and my host daughter is from France and is a senior at our local high school. Much of what you have written reminds me of my own father's recounts of time spent in Russia. My dad was born in Poland but spent some formative years in Russia. That was war time and his views and memories on the country were colored by the tragedy of war. Your opinion of soup made me laugh. My dad, however, loved all kinds of soup and my mother too. She was not much of a cook and would take Campbells canned soup, throw in some old leftovers and then announce that lunch was ready. My dad was quite content. Keep safe. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteEven now, I notice the effects of the war on Russia. It is unbelievable. Your comment actually inspired me to do a post about it.
DeleteI'm very glad that you like my blog, and its awesome that you're a host family with AFS. My family is thinking of hosting next year too.