So I'm laying down, it is 105 degrees, and I have no clothes on. I am being hit with a plant by a 50 year old Russian woman, who, I might add, is also not wearing any clothing.... I think however that I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
Three hours earlier
I am in the car with my family, on the way to the house of a friends of their family, Tamara Alexandrovna and Vladimir Yurivitch. The house is in a small village (not Tarasiha), about forty minutes outside of Nizhny Novgorod. Tamara Alexandrovna and Vladimir Yurivitch are both enthusiastic travelers, so their house is decorated with lots of foreign paintings, posters, coins, and other such items. It also is full of wood carvings, which they made themselves. Pretty neat. So after introductions we all sit down to drink some tea (of course) and eat some chocolate (again, of course). Mama asks me if I want to go in the banya, and, having hardly any idea what a banya was, I did the most natural thing that came to mind; said Да! конечно. (Yeah, of course I do!)
This specific banya was a small cottage outside their house with three rooms. One with a table for drinking tea, one with a tub full of freezing cold water and a shower, and another that somewhat resembled a sauna. So Dasha, Tamara Alexandrovna, Tamara Yurivna (I'm pretty sure she is Vladimir Yurivitch's sister), Laura, and I all go to the banya. Once we are inside, Laura immediately takes off all her clothing, and tells us that she's ready. I look at Dasha confused, and she tells me that you don't wear clothes in the banya. I was understandably (well understandably to me, not to them) taken aback by this. So I take off my clothes in the corner of the room and wrap myself in a towel, and only to return to find both Tamara's completely naked. Keep in mind that these are 50 year old Russian women, who I met only a few hours ago. So we all wrapped ourselves in these towel-like items and also put this strange sort of hat thing on our heads and went into the sauna room.
It was 41 degrees C, which is about 105F, which is about the hottest thing in the world when you've been living in Russia for two weeks. So we sit there for about a half an hour, just talking, and I'm about ready to pass out. So I walk out into the room with the cold water tub and shower with Laura, and she shows me that you are supposed to sit with your feet in the cold water. While I'm doing this, one of the Tamara's comes in and starts filling a wooden bucket with more cold water. She gestures for me to stand up and get out of the cool water tub and stand in the shower. She says:
"Raz, dva, tri!" (one, two three!) and then pours FREEZING cold water all over me. I screamed, and Dasha and Laura laughed. Then the others got cold water poured on them, and afterwards we returned to the sauna room for another few minutes. Every once in a while, Tamara Alexandrovna would take a ladle and put it in a large container of beer, and then poured it all over hot coals, causing a lot of strange smelling steam.
Laura layed down on one of the seats in the banya, and then Tamara Yurivna got this plant, and started hitting her with it. It is supposed to be cleansing I think. Then it was my turn for the plant (this is where I began my story earlier), then it was Dashas, etcetera. After the plant thing we all just sat down for some more time.
After I was about ready to pass out again, we all went to the room with a table, put on bathrobes, drank tea, and ate jam and honey. I thought the jam and honey was FOR my tea, not just for eating plain, so I put it in the tea, which greatly amused all present. After tea we went back into the sauna for some time, and then afterwards Laura took me to the tea room, where we put on bathrobes and sandals, and then went outside. The banya is all about going from hot to cold to hot to cold to hot to cold and back again.
Outside, we put snow on our face and shoulders, and then hurried inside because Vladimir Yurivitch's gigantic dog, Vicki, was running towards us. After the snow we went back in the sauna, then got cold water dumped on us again, then drank more tea and ate more honey, then we went back into the sauna, then into the room with the cold water again to take a shower. We filled big wooden buckets with water, and used this special black cream stuff from Siberia to wash our bodies and face. Afterwards we all washed our hair in the shower, and then went back to the tea room, drank even more tea, and ate fruit. It was a very shocking, very cleansing, very Russian experience.
Three hours earlier
I am in the car with my family, on the way to the house of a friends of their family, Tamara Alexandrovna and Vladimir Yurivitch. The house is in a small village (not Tarasiha), about forty minutes outside of Nizhny Novgorod. Tamara Alexandrovna and Vladimir Yurivitch are both enthusiastic travelers, so their house is decorated with lots of foreign paintings, posters, coins, and other such items. It also is full of wood carvings, which they made themselves. Pretty neat. So after introductions we all sit down to drink some tea (of course) and eat some chocolate (again, of course). Mama asks me if I want to go in the banya, and, having hardly any idea what a banya was, I did the most natural thing that came to mind; said Да! конечно. (Yeah, of course I do!)
This specific banya was a small cottage outside their house with three rooms. One with a table for drinking tea, one with a tub full of freezing cold water and a shower, and another that somewhat resembled a sauna. So Dasha, Tamara Alexandrovna, Tamara Yurivna (I'm pretty sure she is Vladimir Yurivitch's sister), Laura, and I all go to the banya. Once we are inside, Laura immediately takes off all her clothing, and tells us that she's ready. I look at Dasha confused, and she tells me that you don't wear clothes in the banya. I was understandably (well understandably to me, not to them) taken aback by this. So I take off my clothes in the corner of the room and wrap myself in a towel, and only to return to find both Tamara's completely naked. Keep in mind that these are 50 year old Russian women, who I met only a few hours ago. So we all wrapped ourselves in these towel-like items and also put this strange sort of hat thing on our heads and went into the sauna room.
It was 41 degrees C, which is about 105F, which is about the hottest thing in the world when you've been living in Russia for two weeks. So we sit there for about a half an hour, just talking, and I'm about ready to pass out. So I walk out into the room with the cold water tub and shower with Laura, and she shows me that you are supposed to sit with your feet in the cold water. While I'm doing this, one of the Tamara's comes in and starts filling a wooden bucket with more cold water. She gestures for me to stand up and get out of the cool water tub and stand in the shower. She says:
"Raz, dva, tri!" (one, two three!) and then pours FREEZING cold water all over me. I screamed, and Dasha and Laura laughed. Then the others got cold water poured on them, and afterwards we returned to the sauna room for another few minutes. Every once in a while, Tamara Alexandrovna would take a ladle and put it in a large container of beer, and then poured it all over hot coals, causing a lot of strange smelling steam.
Laura layed down on one of the seats in the banya, and then Tamara Yurivna got this plant, and started hitting her with it. It is supposed to be cleansing I think. Then it was my turn for the plant (this is where I began my story earlier), then it was Dashas, etcetera. After the plant thing we all just sat down for some more time.
After I was about ready to pass out again, we all went to the room with a table, put on bathrobes, drank tea, and ate jam and honey. I thought the jam and honey was FOR my tea, not just for eating plain, so I put it in the tea, which greatly amused all present. After tea we went back into the sauna for some time, and then afterwards Laura took me to the tea room, where we put on bathrobes and sandals, and then went outside. The banya is all about going from hot to cold to hot to cold to hot to cold and back again.
Outside, we put snow on our face and shoulders, and then hurried inside because Vladimir Yurivitch's gigantic dog, Vicki, was running towards us. After the snow we went back in the sauna, then got cold water dumped on us again, then drank more tea and ate more honey, then we went back into the sauna, then into the room with the cold water again to take a shower. We filled big wooden buckets with water, and used this special black cream stuff from Siberia to wash our bodies and face. Afterwards we all washed our hair in the shower, and then went back to the tea room, drank even more tea, and ate fruit. It was a very shocking, very cleansing, very Russian experience.
The sauna
The plant
For sitting and drinking tea
Dasha, Laura, Mama, Vladimir Yurivitch and myself.
The Banya
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